Yesterday morning lots of thoughts raced through my mind, as I'm sure they did many of yours. "God, you can't take her! God, we need her! Please God keep her here with us. Please God." Lots of tears, hugs from friends, waiting, pleading, and one question that always lingers: Why?
I ask it in such situations not expecting an answer...and I often wonder if it is okay to ask. This morning I remembered something I learned at Hearts at Home from Rob Curry (preschool expert). Preschoolers will often as "why" over and over again to the same question. Even when we answer them, they still ask why. According to Curry, when preschoolers do this they are not asking for an explanation, they are looking for validation of their feelings. Maybe they are excited. Maybe they are scared. They just want validation from their parent that they are heard, understood, and cared for.
And that's really what I'm asking my Father God when I ask Why? I'm asking for validation, that God sees our pain and our fear. I don't really need to see the big picture, I need loving arms around me. I need to know that my time on my knees (both figuratively and literally) is being heard.
And thus far God has answered our prayers for healing for Dara. We don't know what the rest of her story will be...but we know thus far God had worked a miracle in her life. (And if you know how awesome Dara is, not only is the one of the most amazing people I've met, now she's got "miracle" under her belt too:) We don't know the end result, but we do know God has been at work in her life and so many that have been praying.
One of the scripture passages that comforts me in situations like this is John 9 and a man born blind. The disciples ask if it was the man's sin or the parents' sin that caused the blindness: "'Neither this man, nor his parents sinned,' said Jesus, 'but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.'" Sometimes the work of God is healing here on earth. Sometimes the healing means a person is called home to be with Jesus.
So why does God heal some people here on earth while others are taken from us? My highly spiritual and theological answer is: I don't know. I don't know, but I trust in the goodness of God and the promise of eternal life through Christ Jesus.
So today I am thankful for the healing so far in Dara's life...and pray for continue healing and peace for her, David, and Isabelle. I pray for other friends who are awaiting answers and healing for their loved ones or who are dealing with lifelong illness. I pray for those families who have had to say good-bye to loved ones over the past year, especially as we enter the holiday season. Below are the lyrics from Steven Curtis Chapman's "Carry You to Jesus."
I will not pretend to feel the pain you're going through
I know I cannot comprehend the hurt you've known
And I used to think it mattered if I understood
But now I just don't know
Well, I'll admit sometimes I still wish I knew what to say
And I keep looking for a way to fix it all
But we know we're at the mercy of God's higher ways
And our ways are so small
But I will carry you to Jesus
He is everything you need
I will carry you to Jesus on my knees
It's such a privilege for me to give this gift to you
All I'd ever hope you'd give me in return
Is to know that you'll be there to do the same for me
When the tables turn
And if you need to cry go on and I, I will cry along with you, yeah
I've given you what I have but still I know the best thing I can do
Is just pray for you
I'll carry you
I'll take you to Jesus on my knees
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27