I want candy!!!!

I'm sure many households look like mine today...bags of candy from trick or treating. Bags and bags of deliciously-looking-but-not-good-for-you goodness just asking to sit on the couch with me and be eaten. Who thought of this holiday anyhow?

As you know, I'm not placing my self-worth in the size of my waist, but I've also committed to getting healthier on the nutrition front. So I chose a couple of goodies on the 31st and had them and now...I'm just not going to eat them. But I've realized in the past two days of self-denial, the internal phrasing I use can make me powerful or can make me a victim.

You've probably been around that meal eating fun killer that bemoans "I can't eat that" because of a diet or whatever. The tone borders on whiny and just asking for sympathy. I've been the whiny dieter. And guess what? No one wants to hear whiny "I can't" phrases. Is there really an unseen force keeping you or I from eating skittles or snickers or the whole bag? Like if I do I may just implode? No, it's a choice. It's a choice to eat it, it's a choice to not eat it.

So I've been trying to change my internal dialog. Instead of thinking "I can't have you" like I'm waiting for it to say "yes you can" back, I say "I'm not going to eat you. You are not helping me be healthy. Yes, I could have one...but for me, one leads to 10 so I'm not even going to start." Okay, so I don't say this out loud, I'm not a total nut. But it is helping. It is moving me from victim to being the one in position of power. I am making the choice. And if tomorrow I make the choice to eat a snickers, that doesn't make me a bad person...but I also can't whine about not meeting my goals if I am making choices that aren't healthy.

I'm doing my best to get the loot out of sight so it will be out of mind, but with the haul the kids brought in, I need a better storage space:)