What da heck?

With all of the serious stuff going on around me, I kinda feel bad writing a light hearted blog entry...but there are some questions that I feel like I need to answer. I've had the experience over the last several weeks of people that haven't seen me for a while saying "what da heck? I thought you weren't dieting. I thought you weren't using a scale" (due to my blog entry on October 18 called "I quit"). I had to go back to that blog post and reread (which I hate doing) to make sure I wasn't being a full out hypocrite. I'm pretty sure I'm only half of one.

So yes, if you haven't seen me in a bit I've lost a few pounds.  How many exactly doesn't really matter. Yes, I have been weighing myself, but I am not owned by the scale. It does not determine if I'm going to have a good day. At this point some of you may feel betrayed...like "hey, we were going to throw away our scales together." But because of a small health indicator that came up, I decided I needed to get to a healthier weight. Nothing big, but I knew that with my HDL's being low and the arthritis in my knees, losing a few would be beneficial. But I had tried and tried and was stuck...so what to do?

Well, I did something I always said I would never do...I joined a commercial weight loss center. Ugh. Paying someone to tell me what I could tell someone else. But that in itself has been the motivating factor to keep me honest and eating healthier. It is much easier to stay on track because I'm paying someone else...I'm really frugal and hate "wasting" money, so I'm not going to pay someone for an eating plan and then go eat a cookie instead, whereas if I used my own knowledge and made an eating plan (I can make some great ones), there isn't as much incentive to stay away from the Halloween candy that is still here. I call in to the center 1 or 2 times a week...and I could totally lie about how I've been doing, but that wouldn't help.

I've always "wanted" to eat healthier...to eat more fruits and vegetables, lean proteins. And I would do a fair job at it, but I'm realizing now how much I "cheated" even when I thought I was doing my best. And I haven't erased sweets from my life forever, just for a time while I'm learning some new things: like that I really like spinach but have a moral opposition to iceburg lettuce, that that there are some good vinaigrettes out there (did you know there was any dressing besides ranch? I didn't.) And no, I'm not eating just salad, but that's a dish that I didn't have in my life nearly enough so I am learning a lot.

So it's not that I've found a magic plan by any means. I kinda fell into it when I was researching some stuff for my parents and ended up being the first one to sign up (reminds me of when I got my tattoo in the summer of 99). But for me it has helped me learn new things. But ultimately I am the one in control.

And has it corrected my health concerns? I won't get another blood test for about 6 months, but I did go for a run Saturday night, and my knees were much happier.

So I have to eat crow a bit since I have engaged in a bit of the "diet industry's" antics. But it is helping my health. It isn't about looking great in a swimsuit (that's not a goal of mine by any means), its about improving my health to be around for my kids. Its about being able to run with some great friends without having my knees hate me. And its about making this a lifestyle change so that I can remain healthy.

I'm not gonna lie, it is nice that I finally fit back into my prebaby clothes, but you won't be finding me on the cover of a magazine anytime soon...and I'm okay with that.