Paralysis by analysis. I've been dragging my feet on what topic to hit on next and didn't feel moved by any one in particular, so thus I've been absent. So I'll talk about something recent, fresh, and maybe highly non-exciting.
My first meal.
Or more aptly put, my first "eat what I want, not what is planned" meal since November 1. I've been eating "normal" food all along my journey to eat healthy and reach a healthy weight, but my eating has been very structured. An egg, toast, cheese, milk, and apple for breakfast. Everyday. I can and sometimes do chose other options, but my list of options is purposely small to help keep my meals structured and consistent. And it has worked. Even now that I've been adding in more food, the additions are structured and consistent.
But Friday, oh glorious Friday. Andrew and I spent an overnight away to reconnect. The hotel had a free happy hour buffet of appetizers. I could have easily made a taco salad and stayed on my consistent plan. But for this night I decided to eat what I wanted...super nachos, baked potato, and a few bites of pizza. More than the food, I enjoyed the time with my husband. But I did enjoy the food. I had a great fear that the eating freedom would spark my old ways of eating unhealthy foods way too often or that I'd go on an all out weekend binge.
But neither happened. The next morning I was back on my consistent, structured eating plan. I didn't feel deprived going back to my healthy plan. I also didn't have any desire to eat all crazy-like my next meal. Big sigh of relief. I think I'm to the point where I am going to be able to handle the occasional, planned treat meal without it dragging me into my old habits.