Saturday, February 18, 2012

Payin' up

If you've known me for any length of time you've known I've always had a struggle with my weight. Fourth grade is when my weight made a huge jump relative to my height (that's a whole separate post in itself) and has always been part of my identity. I've ridden a roller coaster of being okay with whatever weight I'm at to wanting so badly to look different. After college I was able to lose about 25 pounds with lots and lots of exercise and eating well and I maintained that loss until I was pregnant with my first baby. My motivation was to improve my dating life. I did end up meeting my husband during that time, but it really had nothing to do with my weight loss.

And after I met and married that guy we decided it would be a good idea to have babies, which was worth about 50 pounds of comfort eating. Ever since my babies I'd TRIED and TRIED to get the baby weight off. I tried lots of exercise (didn't work this time), counting calories, meeting with a friend weekly to set goals. But nothing was clicking. So why did the plan I start on Nov. 1 work? Were there magical foods? Magical pills? Some secret exercise that blasts away pounds? Some grapefruit and cayenne pepper drink that will not only cause you to lose weight but clear your skin, make your hair shiny, and clean your bathroom for you?  (Do you feel like you're reading the covers of magazines yet?)

The difference was in my mirror.


I was causing the problem, and only I could fix it. And there were two big keys to this go round that actually not only got the baby weight off, but also some of the extra I have carried forever. Today, reason, #1:

I paid someone. Oh, how I didn't want to have to do that. My formal education is in the field of health
and fitness, why should I have to pay someone to tell me what I could tell someone else? But I needed to. Not for the knowledge, but for the accountability. Since I am such a frugal person, if I paid someone good money to help me I wasn't going to turn around and eat a cheeseburger. I distinctly remember the day after I started driving in the car and being a little hungry and wanting to eat one of the kids' little candy bars from Halloween. I scolded myself with "you just paid someone $130 to help you, you are not going to eat that." That's the motivation I needed to start. The next day when the car had a flat tire, and I had to wait at a coffee shop while it was fixed, I stuck to my tea rather than ordering some huge frappe and a cookie. At first, that was the motivation I needed. Now the motivation to limit certain unhealthy foods is much more internal. I do it because I know it is healthy and I feel better. But at first, that cookie and frappe to help me feel better about my flat tire was much more appealing. Now it would still be more appealing, but I've been able to experience the success of making one good choice at a time.

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